Proof his world can't sustain two

Having spent 8 sessions with us, the counsellor had drawn her own conclusions. She said his world was a very self focused world, he couldn't cope without attention, when he didn't get the attention he needed it would send him into a child like tantrum, which materialised as a bad mood or anger, something that would regain the attention. She said there were times, when we were in company when I would look to my side to see my husband but instead there would be a child needing attention. I hadn't thought about this before, but there seems to be plenty of evidence to suggest this is true.
When we were in situations where he wasn't receiving constant attention or recognition from me he would drift or sink until he hit a mood. 

• I was pregnant and sick and tired and needed to be cared for, he told me he would finish with me if I was going to be like that.
• I was ill after an operation, he didn't want me at his house in case it upset the children, although I wasn't supposed to be left on my own
• After 3 days of honeymoon, 1 spent sleeping, and only 1 sex session he went into a bad mood as I was having it all my way, he said he was being nice and holding my hand but wasn't getting what he wanted and said he had started to resent me.  
• I was ill, my whole body was red, swollen and madly itchy, he intended to leave me alone, to go to breakfast while I was waited for the doctor
• When mum's ashes were being scattered, he disappeared for over 2 hours to go for a walk with Bryony, so people kept asking me where he was. 
• I had arranged a romantic weekend away in Cornwall, he didn't even get me a Valentine card as it wasn't important.

This doesn't capture the feeling. By contrast there were times when he would want to make me food, rub my feet, scrub my back, hug and kiss me.

If I try to think about him just giving me some thought, doing something to purely make me happy, it is difficult to remember. There must have been times....there must have been things he did just for me..... he did a few things around the flat, the bathroom tiles, the wood in the kitchen.

I remember the lovely bag he bought me for my birthday, but made me ask for my birthday present, then went into a mood when he gave it to me, it was as if he didn't want me to get what I wanted...or expected, he didn't want me to have the pleasure of my birthday present, it was strange.