I was going to call this entry 'Romance' and talk about poetry, and other lovely things, but when I came across this poem it reminded me of the luxurious pleasure affairs can provide. By affairs I mean relationships with married men. There have been some. Affairs mean spending Christmas, and Easter and most other family holidays alone, they mean lies and secrecy, they mean experiencing the very best of someone in their attempt to keep you happy by providing you with luxurious and enviable romance.
A picnic at Colchester zoo,
with crystal glasses smuggled from his house. A day in a private motor boat on the Norfolk Broads, with the crisp February sunlight. Poetry, Champagne, phone calls at many and varied times of the day and night. The feeling of satisfaction when he is so proud of you he has to entrust one or two friends to share the secret. Nights in hotels, and he pops back in the morning to bring breakfast. Secret emails and letters, every contact requires effort and emphasises the value he places on you.
I know this may sound naive, surely if he valued you, you wouldn’t be second choice, but it didn't feel like that and it still doesn't. Knowing you make someone happy enough for them to risk things for you is flattering.. The thought that you are the most exciting person in someone else’s life is worth spending bank holidays alone.
Do you notice when I touch you
Does it move you in the night
Can you feel a certain presence
As my spirit holds you tight
My body can’t be with you
But my aura makes the chase
Charged with conquering all distance
To deliver loves embrace
How many different lifetimes
Have we travelled far apart
Not knowing why we’re searching
Guided only by one heart
We meet: at once you know me
I can see inside your soul
At last once more I’ve found you
Achieved this lifetimes goal
Experience a slice of death
How can I ever sleep
‘til I invent our destiny
And then you’re mine to keep
Pursued across the eons
Many portals throughout time
Fate once again defeats us
But one lifetime you’ll be mine
P Howlett
I know this may sound naive, surely if he valued you, you wouldn’t be second choice, but it didn't feel like that and it still doesn't. Knowing you make someone happy enough for them to risk things for you is flattering.. The thought that you are the most exciting person in someone else’s life is worth spending bank holidays alone.
Do you notice when I touch you
Does it move you in the night
Can you feel a certain presence
As my spirit holds you tight
My body can’t be with you
But my aura makes the chase
Charged with conquering all distance
To deliver loves embrace
How many different lifetimes
Have we travelled far apart
Not knowing why we’re searching
Guided only by one heart
We meet: at once you know me
I can see inside your soul
At last once more I’ve found you
Achieved this lifetimes goal
Experience a slice of death
How can I ever sleep
‘til I invent our destiny
And then you’re mine to keep
Pursued across the eons
Many portals throughout time
Fate once again defeats us
But one lifetime you’ll be mine
P Howlett
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