What was I doing?!

There are times, which, when I think about them make me feel ill.

He was sitting on the sofa, we were trying to reconcile/break up/sort things and he kept texting the (young) girl he had just started seeing, not just the once, repeatedly, and I sat there and chatted...what was I doing!

When we got back together after the funeral, there was his intense crying over his betrayal to C, and the fact he had left her heartbroken, they had been together about 6 weeks, he still doesn't know the meaning of love.He had started to drink whisky every night, she mothered him. He showed me her photo, I think, for my approval. I again became like his mother, consoling him. 

Later to find out he had still kept in touch and asked her to go for a walk with him. With her he had the relationship we had wanted, he did all the stuff we needed, and because it was his idea he was happy to do it, it got the results he needed, she was apparently delighted by him, it would seem that I know how to woo a woman.

Then there was J, she was rich and clever he was keen to tell me, he also told me he had told her all about me and she didn't know how she could compete. After we had got back together and decided to marry, he had sent her a text telling her she was lovely, she text while we were in bed, when i asked what was going on, he insisted there was no harm, it was ok, it wasn't flirting!